Elmore Leonard started out writing westerns, then turned his talents to crime fiction. One of the most popular and prolific writers of our time, he wrote about two dozen novels, most of them bestsellers, such as Glitz, Get Shorty, Maximum Bob, and Rum Punch. Unlike most genre writers, however, Leonard is taken seriously by the literary crowd.
His 10 rules of writingΒ are all worth serious consideration, but my my favorite is Rule #3.
3. Never use a verb other than βsaidβ to carry dialogue.
Why? According to Leonard, “The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied. I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with βshe asseverated,β and had to stop reading to get the dictionary.
Well said, Mr. Leonard. But there’s a simpler reason. As readers, we’ve been “trained” to ignore “said.” Further, you can’t chortle a sentence. Try it. “Sam, you make me laugh out loud,” chortled Diane.
As an author, I try to heed Leonard’s advice. As a reader, I find those “creative ways” of replacing “said” distracting. And as the editor of three multi-author anthologies of crime fiction, I’ve rejected stories simply because the author tried too hard to be “creative” and the thought of having to convince them to replace “chortled, chuckled, and cheered” with “said” too exhausting.
There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. Kevin Kwan, author of the bestselling Crazy Rich Asians trilogy, seldom uses “said” if he can find a replacement. In book 3, Rich People Problems, the following are just a few examples of his dialogue tags as seen in Chapters 1 and 2. You can read excerpts of all three books here.
Carol proudly reported. Carol also: admonished; and observed.
Nadine wondered out loud.
Eleanor complained.
Daisy commented.
Lorena exclaimed.
Eddie yelled. Eddie also blurted.
Charlie quipped. CharlieΒ also: mumbled in shock, and teased.
Now to be fair to Kwan, unlike chortled, it is possible to blurt, yell or mumble a sentence. That said, as much as I loved the movie, Crazy Rich Asians (I’ve watched it twice), I couldn’t get through the book because I found the dialogue tags too distracting.
What about you, readers and writers? Said? Or Chortled?
Even more impossible than “hissing” a sentence is performing an action that does not produce sound. Usually a comma is used instead of a period or, of course, “said.” EX: “I think I sprained my ankle,” Bob winced. “You’re always pretending an injury,” Ann smiled. “But what if it’s real this time? We could all be stuck here,” Tina imagined.
“Don’t you agree?” she asked quizzically.
You nailed it Mo!
I tend to be spare with dialogue tags in general , but ‘said’, is my go-to
… as to your example …
I would put the chortle first … like this …
Gabe chortled. “That’s absurd!”
This is how I would handle chortled as well. Thanks for dropping by!
I’ve beat “stated, commented, explained” out of my vocabulary for the most part. But I’ll admit that “shouted and whispered” are tougher for me to eradicate. One of my biggest challenges is when there’s a section of short bits of quick dialog between multiple characters. Action beats slow the pace down dramatically, but said-said-said can create an annoying echo. I try to break it up but may end up sneaking a “replied” in there. π
It is all a delicate balance, isn’t it D. Wallace? I’ve been known to sneak in a “replied” and … gasp! Even an “explained.”
I only use odd tags, not said, if I want to make sure you see where the speaker’s head is. I have a copy editor, who keeps trying to change them. Drives me nuts. If you like Elmore Leonard, read Bandits.
DonnaRae, that seems to be what Kevin Kwan does, and it certainly works for him. I’m afraid I’m in the Leonard camp, though (and the camp of your copy editor). Thanks for commenting.
Well said, Judy. Two days a week I write stories with 100 percent dialogue and no tags at all. I took a class that Elmore Leonard taught and his dialogue rules were pounded into me. In my books, I don’t use tags either. I use beats to make sure the reader knows who is talking. One other annoyance is when a writer uses the name of the person being addressed in the dialogue. We humans just don’t do that in real life so the challenge is to use other techniques to identify the speaker and the emotions. A more difficult task. Thanks for this.
Thanks for chiming in, John. I agree we don’t use names unless we are trying to make a point. Whenever I was in trouble, my mother would say, “Judy, you are…” but certainly not in casual conversation. Not sure what you mean by using beats. Can you give a couple of examples?
I agree with him on the dialogue tags.
That seems to be the consensus, Kathleen!
I’m with Leonard. Said or asked.
Enjoyed the post, Judy!
Thanks John!
A member of my first critique group became know as “Said-Killer,” for his complete loathing of using that verb (or any other verb) attached to a quote. Consequently, I try to indicate who is speaking by the action alone. It’s amazing how it helps streamline my writing.
Excellent point, Gay. The fewer tags, whatever they might be, the better. Let the action carry the dialogue. Thanks for weighing in.
Depends. When I’m writing a story set in the current era, I mostly stick to said. When I’m writing one of my Sherlock Holmes pastiches, I employ the whole range of tags (said, asked, answered, replied, remarked, protested, sniffed, spat and one of my favorites, ejaculated) because Conan Doyle and other writers of that era did. Bottom line, let the style fit the story, and you won’t go wrong.
A thoughtful distinction, Thomas.
I hate writing βrules.β I agree too many tags are distracting. But I think discriminate use of them is often effective.
I think discriminate is the key, Ellen π
Well, my favourite challenge is when I read something like..
“Get out of here!” she hissed.
I think it was P G Wodehouse who pointed out how hard it is to hiss a sentence with no S in it.
That’s a good one, Susan!
When I occasionally use a tag, it’s not meant to be literal. It’s meant to imply the characters mindset. LOL, there are only so many times someone can “narrow their eyes” or “let out a laugh!”
I do prefer a tag to the adverb. Boy, do THOSE need to be used sparingly. As do both, of course.
So true, Ellen. And only so many times they can nod π
You gave pros and cons for said and chortled. Much appreciated.
Thanks for reading Mary Jo.