My 21st birthday with my mother in San Francisco.
Today would have been my mother’s birthday and so I’m reposting this blog from December 2016. I think she’d like that.
For those of you who don’t know, my mother died on September 21, 2016, after a hard fought and lengthy battle with COPD, which led to a host of other health issues. She was 89 years old, and led a good, long life, but not an easy one. She was a young girl in war-torn Germany, and spent many a night in the basement of her apartment building, which acted as a bomb shelter. She refused to spend any time in basement “family rooms” as an adult. To her, basements were a place where you went to hide.
My mom immigrated to Nottingham, England, shortly after the war, where she learned English, worked in a factory, and met my father at a dance. She eventually followed him to Toronto, Canada, where I was born three years later. She never did get used to the winters — or the hot, humid summers. But she continued to hone her English skills by reading to me every night. I remember that Heidi was a favorite, and later, Trixie Belden. By the time I’d advanced to Nancy Drew, she’d discovered her own passion for books…and she passed that passion on to me.
When my father died at the age of 42 (stomach cancer, dead 12 weeks from date of diagnosis), my mom was ill-prepared to deal with grief and a hormonal, defiant 14-year-old teenager. To say that there were plenty of rocky roads ahead for the two of us would be an understatement, but at the end of the day, we both did our best.
One of my favorite memories is my 21st birthday. My mom didn’t have a dime to spare — she’d managed to go from stay-at-home mom/part-time sales clerk at Zeller’s Dept. Store to a fulltime job at the Bank of Montreal (where she earned many promotions until she eventually retired at age 62) but back in the 70s, women weren’t paid a lot, and my father had died without life insurance.
Anyone want to sing a few bars of “Marshmallow World?”
The lack of funds didn’t stop my mom. We were going to do 21 right. And we did. We went to San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and finally Las Vegas. It was the best trip I’ve ever had. We laughed. A lot. We walked (especially in San Fransisco, my mother’s favorite city). We gambled. We even saw Dean Martin in Vegas (my mom had a crush on him forever, and I still know the words to most, if not all, of his songs).
My mom was also my biggest fan, and my most enthusiastic supporter. Who else but your mother would hand out bookmarks to the nurses and doctors in her hospital room? Or force everyone in her condo to buy a signed copy of my latest novel? It gives me comfort to know that Skeletons in the Attic was the last book she ever read. I hope she liked it. I never had a chance to talk to her about it. I do know she’d read The Hanged Man’s Noose so many times, it was almost in tatters.
This is my first Christmas without my mom, and to be honest with you, it’s hitting me a lot harder than I thought it would. In her memory, I’m sharing her shortbread cookie recipe. She was never much of a cook (a trait I’ve sadly inherited), but until she got sick, she’d make these every December. I’ve included the recipe below, but if you’d like a PDF copy to print, click here.
RIP mom, and Merry Christmas to you and dad, together again after all these years.
Anneliese’s Almond Crescents
Makes 45 cookies
Ingredients
1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (the real deal, not the artificial kind)
2 teaspoons almond extract
2 1⁄3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup ground almonds (bulk food stores are a good place to find these)
1 cup powdered sugar (put in a sifter for best results)
Directions
Preheat oven to 350°
Grease cookie sheets (enough for 45 cookies)
Mix together butter with sugar and beat with a mixed until light and fluffy
Add vanilla extract and almond extract and continue to beat until incorporated
Stir in the flour and almonds
Work flour mixture into a firm dough
Working with 1 tablespoon of dough at a time, shape into logs. The log should be slightly thicker in the middle than at both ends. Bend into a crescent shape.
Place on greased cookie sheets.
Bake 12-15 minutes or until light brown.
While the cookies are still warm sift crescents with powdered sugar.
Cool on racks.
Eat, enjoy, and create your own happy holiday memories…
For more recipes, click here.
What a beautiful, beautiful tribute. She sounded like a strong, remarkable woman. And you sounded like a handful. I lost my mom a few years back and my dad just last year. It’s tough to lose those who love you unconditionally.
Thanks Haris. She was strong in some ways, and not so strong in others. Just like most of us! But yes, I was quite the handful. Thankfully we only have to live our teen years once 🙂
A beautiful tribute to your mother. She will always be with you in spirit.
Thanks Joanne.
I remember this post. So touching. Sending love.
Thanks Ellen.
Such heartfelt memories of your mother, Judy. Fun to read that she introduced you to Trixie Belden, which may have started you down the road to writing mysteries!
Hi Becky, my mom loved a good mystery. She definitely got me interested in them early on, used to buy me every Nancy Drew book!
So many stories. My mum was put into foster care when she was three weeks old and only once saw her father. He had been shell-shocked in the first world war and never completely recovered. She always remembered looking out of the window where she lived and seeing a man under the lamppost, staring up at the house. Her foster mother dragged her away but later told her the man was her father. He had ‘escaped’ from the mental hospital where he was a patient in the hopes of finally meeting her. Sad time, Judy, but you have some great memories. thanks for sharing them.
Thanks for sharing your story, Gillian. It’s tragic. Have you ever tried to trace him?
Your mother sounds like an amazing woman. My mom passed away in February of 2017. I miss her every day.
Another thing you and I have in common, Carol.
Thanks for sharing your memories with me, Beth. My mom was also a heavy smoker for many years, finally quitting at age 80 when they put her on oxygen fulltime. Far too late, of course. She also liked nice clothes!
Touching story, Judy. Cherish those memories. My mother lived to just a little past her 100th birthday. She was anemic, suffered with migraine and had other physical problems when young, but enjoyed remarkably good health until dementia hit in her final years. She was my travel buddy on some good trips. One of the last of these is especially memorable. I can still see her delight as she watched whales breach off the Massachusetts coast.
Thank you for sharing your memories with me, John.
My mother died of lung cancer in 1987. We always knew she would because she was a heavy smoker, starting as a teen at 14. It was cool then, you know. She died too soon at the age of 61, after a long road of chemo, radiation, and bloated legs. The saddest part of her dying so young is that she only knew my two children of all the grandchildren who were born. We remember Sue as the life of the party. With a cocktail and a cigarette in each hand and a contagious laugh. She taught me to be generous and never to deny myself pleasures of life. Even near the end of her life, she bought stylish clothes at expensive prices. No wonder I love clothes: I inherited her love of great fashion choices. Thanks for sharing your memories, Judy!